Hidden Reasons Why Its Difficult To Let Go
Holding on to a relationship is a basic human instinct mostly because of the pain, fear and uncertainty that comes with a breakup. Therefore, here are hidden reasons you are still holding on after a breakup
- You are mourning the relationship (mostly the good times) you think could have been
- There is fear you may never find someone else or connect with anyone else
- If it was an abusive relationship, you are probably trauma bonded. This is an unhealthy attachment to an abuser
- You have fears of abandonment, or inante insecurities that may have originated from your past
- You are grieving the loss of the love you gave, the time you invested and the efforts you put in
- There is self-blame for the areas you feel you could have done differently, probably wanting to make it right
Signs you may not have moved on from a relationship
Sometimes we believe we have moved on, snapping pictures and posting on social media with the intent to send a message to the world, or your ex. It is important to note that moving on from a relationship is a conscious, step-wise process. Here are some signs that you may not have moved on
- You are in search of someone to help you forget about them, ‘a rebound’
- They are the first person you think of to call when something happens or you are stressed
- You still have some of your ‘stuffs’ that you need in their place
- You check them out on social media regularly
- There is comparison when you go out on dates
- You have a desire to revenge or cause harm
- You are scared or nervous to run into them
- There is concern about who they are currently with
- You need ‘closure’
- You are angry or sad when someone brings them up
- There is hope that things will work out, eventually
- You are spying on their activities through friends and family
- You are avoiding a new relationship with someone else
Benefits of a Breakup
Breakups do not always have to be negative, you know. There are many benefits of breakup and harvesting the benefits is dependent on how you manage breakup. Here are a few proven benefits
- You get a fresh start, managing past setbacks
- Its an opportunity for self discovery and growth
- You would develop stronger emotional skills because managing a breakup involves emotional mastery
- You have the opportunity to focus on you, for once
- There is an opportunity to work on yourself and be better
- You are now able to identity and work towards managing your triggers
- This is an opportunity to define and redefine yourRelRe values and boundaries
- You are more equipped to identity redflags and greenflags
- There is post break up energy that can get you achieving much more
- The future holds better chance of you meeting someone great
- It helps you build resilence
- You have an opportunity to focus on other areas of your life such as your career
- Breakups can help boost your physical fitness (trying to stay in shape to meet someone else)
- You will rediscover forgotten sources of happiness
- There is the prospect of a more fulfilling life
- You have the opportunity of building other relationships such as friendships, and family relationship
- You get the chance to decide what you really want in a relationship
- It’s a whole new world for you
Sign up for our course to help you manage breakup, move on from your ex and prepare for the next to build a more successful relationship. Our services can be offered online via zoom or WhatsApp or physical in multiple locations in Lagos (Ikeja, Surulere, Festac, Yaba, Lekki and Sangotedo) and Abuja (Maitama and Appo).
If both parties have decided to work through the relationship and ready to put in the work, consider our relationship therapy option instead.
You can also visit our frequently asked questions for other quick answers to any question you may have. You can contact us for further support. Learn more about who we are and what we do at 360 Psyche.